By Franceska Mccullough
I have a PayPal account because I set it up many years ago with the ambitious idea that it would be useful for my freelance art career. For four years the balance was $7.57 which was left over from me trying to transfer money from my bank account into my PayPal account. Recently a kind caring friend sent $50 to me via PayPal to help me in my art career and to possibly help me buy groceries which were becoming a luxury. I toyed with the idea of transferring the newly gifted $50 into my bank account because of the thrill it would be to see the account have more money in it but that meant I would have to actually log into my bank account to set this up and after an episode of financial induced panic (conducted in private with checkbook in hand) I decided it would be better if I arranged to have a check drafted and sent to my address from PayPal.
My understanding is that a bank is supposed to be a safe reliable place to store money and help build financial stability to normal everyday working people. For me it is the one place I try very hard not to visit either by website or the actual physical establishment because it means I will somehow have to interact with my bank account which frightens me worse than the possible encounter of vampires, werewolves or murderers. For me I try to avoid talking over the phone to bank representatives because talking about my lack of money is like talking about an embarrassing body part in an offhand matter of fact way that would make most people cringe if they listened in.
I’ve noted that whenever someone wins the lottery it seems that they bought their ticket in a tiny gas station located in the middle of nowhere rather than a big well known grocery store in the middle of a huge city so one of my financial exercises has been to visit the 7 Eleven on the corner of my street to buy a random lottery ticket from the Ethiopian clerk behind the counter. In my deluded financially panic-stricken mind, I’ve concluded that this exercise, if performed at peculiar times of the day and night using handfuls of coins will ensure my chances for winning outrageous sums of money! Being an artist has not improved or helped my financial situation but it has resulted in some hair brained ideas about money such as this one about writing it all down for others to read!
Another financial exercise that I partake in is “Indecision Grocery Shopping” which I perform on a biweekly basis in the local grocery store. A grocery cart or basket is required as is a good dose of job related stress so that roaming the aisles and selecting items is further challenged by lack of money thus adding to the previously mentioned bank account trauma. The object of this exercise is to place the items you feel you need in the basket and then to walk around with them for a few minutes before talking yourself out of the purchase by the time you reach the checkout. By this point you will have convinced yourself that you can make bread rather than buy it and save that $3 to languish for longer in the horror pit that is your bank account.
Bank statements should be filed away into unopened obscurity on a collect-all table of junk in the darkest part of your home so that you are never in danger of accidentally opening these envelopes and getting a glimpse into the horror pit of doom that is your bank account.
Franceska is currently working on a project and you can participate by posting photos of your hands to the event page on Facebook. Here's the link: https://www.facebook.com/events/1415256965367882/